Life’s craziness collided with bipolar’s craziness, and it
was too much to handle. While the grace of God and loving friends/family
carried me through, recovery was far from simple. Piece by piece, I needed to
remember the value of each day, something I managed to lose somewhere along the
way. I started keeping a journal to record moments I'm glad I didn't miss. Through
this process, I discovered the value of living with the seasons.
It kind of starts in
September. The summer sun is still shining, but you know the school year
began because things aren’t so crowded during the week days. The mall is not
crawling with jr. highers, the beach is down to a reasonable population, and even
Target is reduced to the typical bunch of old ladies and moms with toddlers. I
realize I sound elderly myself, but now that I’ve experienced the amazingness
of a non-traditional schedule, I never want to go back to a 9-to-5 cubicle.
But, I’m getting off-track.
October: Proclamations
of “I can't believe it’s so warm!” and “How strange! It’s supposed to be fall!”
lead me to believe that many Southern Californians suffer from weather-related
amnesia. People, it is ALWAYS hot in October. Every year. In fact, that’s one
of the many reasons I moved here. Meanwhile, watching the rest of the country
enjoy autumn through television and facebook newsfeeds produces a tiny bit of wistfulness.
But, never fear! I found a solution!
I appeal to the senses and savor seasonal moments.
Currently, it’s the “autumn leaves and spice” Febreze alternated with another
natural candle scent. I bought apple cider yesterday, am making apple dumplings
today, and will enjoy a caramel apple with a scary movie in a couple of weeks
(gotta pace ourselves). I found an air freshener that smelled all fall-like in
Bath and Body Works, but now my car sort of smells like candy… we'll pretend it’s
in honor of trick-or-treat and keeping with the theme.
November and December,
of course, have their own bundle of seasonal fun... Cooler temperatures, warmer clothes, holiday
food and the smell of warm cinnamon…. It
would take pages and pages to describe all of this. Then, January, February,
March, so on… they all have their seasonal treasures.
The facts are these:
All of these are superficial, small things. But, they keep me in the moment. The aromas, weather patterns, and tastes aren't available all year, so it’s important to savor them while they're here. It’s that act of cherishing that makes it special, and the specialness makes the moment matter.
All of these are superficial, small things. But, they keep me in the moment. The aromas, weather patterns, and tastes aren't available all year, so it’s important to savor them while they're here. It’s that act of cherishing that makes it special, and the specialness makes the moment matter.
All of it is just tangible reminders of the stuff that’s
really precious about the seasons. That caramel apple and scary movie will be
with close friends- kind of like caramel apples and scary movies in past
autumns. The cinnamon smell is warm and cozy, like dark winter nights curled up
on the couch in a living room lit by Christmas lights on the tree, with people
you love nearby.
Life can be crazy overwhelming, but days are manageable and minutes
are easy. I had to re-learn how to live, and I now embrace the moments, season
by season.
