surrounding blur

Today, i tried to describe my current state to a friend. She said it sounded like “Garden State”, where Zach Braff is medicated. This is accurate, but I’m not proud of it.

Thankfully, I’m not medicated, but I have been in the past. And this definitely feel similar- a numb feeling while the world passes by in a blur. The post-vacation buzz is definitely wearing thin, and the mind-dulling routine is taking its course. Regardless, I am doing all I can to fight through it.

The Daniel fast continues, and it’s going pretty well. Strangely, I’m not craving sweets. Though today I would’ve considered trading my birthright for Long John Silver’s. Go figure. My current revelation is that I’m pretty selfish, and might have gone into this period of prayer and fasting with pretty selfish motives. Perhaps I should simply do this to please God, and trust Him with the details of my life. While it’s easy to write that sentence in plain Christianese, actually living that attitude genuinely is a challenge. I am pretty self-absorbed- more than I realized.

In daily news, there’s really not that much to report. The fires are reaching containment, thankfully. I think the So Cal firefighters deserve a place of extreme respect right next to the men and women serving in our military….. The Masquer show is coming along, and is now at the stage of perfecting and becoming excited to perform for an audience. It does feel odd that it’s only a one-night run. Months of hard work will be complete in only a few short hours. Of course, if you don’t want to miss it, please email me asap for tickets. ;)

Today, I got my ticket for next month’s Regina Spektor concert. It’s still weird that i’m going by myself, but i’m going AND i got a great seat. So we’ll just chalk it up to liberated living and enjoy it. :)

Last night, I was asked to dance in our church Christmas performance. I said yes without even thinking. As I drove home, I thought it interesting that in less than a year, I’ve gone from feeling intimidated at the dance supply store to actually being asked to dance in front of actual, live people.