no place to hide

What if all my entries were titled after the song I listened to while writing? Today’s would be “No Place to Hide” by Alison Krauss and Union Station. Perhaps I shall try that. As a bonus, you can youtube the song and listen while reading to enhance your experience.

Or not.

So it’s 2010… and I’m going to pass on the resolutions this year. Let’s review last year’s, shall we?

2009 Goals: a progress report

1. Learn to play the piano. (did one online lesson, got too busy)
2. Develop daily and weekly habits of exercise, journaling, devotions, and creativity. This includes resuming tennis, guitar-playing, and yoga. (epic fail)
3. Find a way that my job is satisfying, therefore bringing in necessary money while not wasting precious moments of life on crap that doesn't matter. (this spills into 2010, as you’ve been reading)
4. Eat more salad. (I believe I’m eating the same amount of salad as 2008…)
5. Write a devotional. (started, but not substantial. will continue when life is less crazy.)
6. Pay off student loans by developing video game- or at least making major progress on the project. (gave up. i lack the skills and resources to make this happen. it looks great in my head, though. if anyone has skills/resources and wants to talk, let me know)
7. Beat the original Mario Bros. NES game. (success!!)
8. Fall in love (will need some assistance here). (epic fail. but that’s not my fault.)
9. Increase and improve drama ministry. (well, I joined Masquer and still did a couple of pieces at Calvary. I say, epic win!)
10. Do more for other people- more volunteer service time. (this actually kind of decreased. eek).

So I’m not ready to neglect the unfinished goals, but they are on the backburner to make room for “Operation Torrance”. I’m pretty wiped out trying to handle all the details of this transition as it is. But the point of resolutions/goals is just to spend your time productively and positively- which is what I am doing.

So, ya wanna know the status of all the changes? Here it goes:

I have transferred from the radio station’s Glendale office to our Orange County office, and am now a promotion’s assistant. While this means a cut in pay and hours, it’s doable (and it’s a JOB that I HAVE- the whole “bird in the hand is better than two in the bush” kind of thing).

This morning ended a long search for my social security card and other forms of i.d., the absence of which was preventing me from seeking a second job (you need these for the I-9 form in order to be hired in the U.S. See, working for human resources was not totally a lost cause. ;) ). I fully intend to register for work as a background extra within the next week. That should patch the holes in my financial plan, and i’ll be off and running.

As for school…. all the classes for the January term were full, so I’ll start the spring semester mid-February. This is fine, since we’re still working out the details of moving, and it’s saves me a crazy long commute in the mean time (ironically, the commute to the OC office from my current home is exactly the same as to my previous office…). Working less hours makes the budget tight, but it gives me an opportunity to handle these and other necessary details. Today’s day off allowed me to search our storage unit for my social security card and reorganize it so that things are accessible. I also had an eye appointment to take advantage of the remaining weeks of health insurance, and did three loads of laundry. Oh, and there was also a nap. :)

So I leave you with a poem/lyrics I wrote from my window-less desk a couple months ago, that I found today while cleaning. I’m not as depressed as it makes me sound…. and that’s partially because I’m still moving forward from the rut I was in when I penned the words….

other people’s songs inspire me to write
other people’s wrongs urge me to the the fight
someone else’s melody prompts my heart to sing
something has occurred to me- i’ve lost all my own things

do empty hands mean empty heart?
i have no words, there’s no more art
it used to flow from deep inside
i fear something in my soul has died

clean paper calls my name, aching for the words
every day the same- i’ve got only what i’ve heard
if their music calls to me, wakes my quiet heart
that’s the place where hope could be, waiting in the dark

do empty hands mean empty heart?
where are my words, please find my art
it used to flow from deep inside
please resurrect the me that died

songs and pictures, story lines
words and music, colors bright
locked away- but they’re still mine
help me bring them to the light

please fill my hands and fill my heart
with all the words and songs and art
let it flow from deep inside
so then i’ll know my soul’s alive.