taking a moment

One one hand, I feel lazy. Things are moving pretty slowly this month, especially since spring semester doesn’t start until February and rehearsals for our next show, “Risen” don’t begin until next Sunday. There is still work to do for both my job and “Job” (working on the script for an original Masquer production based on that particular book of the Bible). But less running back and forth reduces the frantic pace that often marks my days.

On the other hand, I slightly savor the calm before the storm. Of course, I love storms- even metaphorical ones (usually). February marks the beginning of a 2011 busyness that won’t really stop or slow down. I’m assuming my school schedule will increase as I advance in classes- with more involved homework and film projects. WorkChurch becomes more involved this year as I move from adjusting to a new job to raising the standard for our kids’ ministry. Masquer is doing four productions in 2011, instead of the usual three. I’m getting a puppy for my birthday, so there is housebreaking and such on the horizon (advice and tips welcome! i’ve never had a puppy before!). As always, I hope for more writing jobs from the radio station. I’m looking for a local yoga class since I cancelled my gym membership. And as soon as the weather is consistently warm enough, I will be back in the water, reuniting with my fishy friends.

And that’s just the beginning… you know me, you know how it goes. i have a hard time saying “no” to opportunities for new adventure.

Mamaw seems to be doing pretty ok! I would say, “can you believe it?”, but honestly, it’s quite believable. She’s tough and not ready to throw in the towel just yet. She’s out of the hospital and in a rehabilitation facility to build strength. The future is still uncertain- as futures become with age and health issues. There’s talk of the grandkids visiting Ohio sometime to see her…. That brings mixed emotions, as I really want to see her but hate the thought of a good-bye- not to mention that you never really know if it IS good-bye (and always hope it’s not).

I love living in California. I don’t regret my decision to move across the country, and, though I care about my family, I don’t have the tiniest desire to ever live in Ohitucky again. However, there are times like this when I wish I could be more supportive and more present. These are the circumstances that call for visits and taking a turn helping out- sharing the load. This is when you want to play as many games of rummy with your grandmother and make sure you know all the family stories. It’s also the kind of situation that reminds you to cherish the moments you can with the people you love.

So cherish I will… and I do. From moments like this- sitting quietly in the sunlit living room, writing on the couch with my ipod as a companion…. to the joy of exploring the neighborhood on a warm day- walking with Kelly and Tootsie as the sun hits my shoulders and I am inspired to wear the colorful skirt my sister, Becca, sent from South Africa years ago. Or the comforting belonging feeling you get when your friends “kidnap” you for a fun, silly movie…. and it goes on, every day constructed of moments.

one day in a whole life

The challenge: Take one picture each hour all day to illustrate a day in your life.

This group project was inspired and organized by my friend, Becca, on her fabulous blog. She’ll be posting the results on February 1st, and it’s open to YOU, too. So check out my day, then be all excited to grab your camera and show me a piece of your life. :)

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Wednesday, January 12th, 2011!

9am: The first thing I see when I open my eyes is my star lamp, hanging right over my head. Based on this spectacular piece of photography and excitement, you know you’re in for a thrilling day.

10am: Daily time in the Word. Right now i’m using this fantastic resource from Beth Moore- 90 days with Jesus. I cannot possibly be more enthusiastic about this book!

11am: Putting on make-up before heading out for the day!

12p: Quick stop at Jamba Juice! Thanks to Becca for providing a coupon that got me a coldbuster smoothie for $2! I drove the rest of the way to WorkChurch listening to fun music on a sunny, seventy-degree day, with a lovely view of the city below and snow-capped mountains in the distance- and the delightful taste of orange smoothie. :-D

1p: My desk at WorkChurch. Today’s task included prepping for Sunday’s lesson and children’s sermon, organizing a mission project to collect canned goods, prepare postcards for students with birthdays or frequent absences, and create an attendance chart. Lots of administration for now!

2p: Because hours of desk can be boring, behold- i give you the view of a classroom!

3p: We also have a small play area, that I get to make sure is tidy each week. Thankfully, I have fantastic teachers and really great kids, so it’s a pretty minimal mess.

4[30]p: Ok, I know I’m cheating by putting two pictures, and I waited until 4:30 to take them… but whatever. This is my part of the project and I shall do it my way. ;) Sometimes I avoid the freeway and drive home along the coast. I stopped at one of my favorite dive sites to try to catch this pre-sunset happiness. We call it Whale Point, as this is where we saw actual, real-life whales this summer!! Sadly, we weren’t in the water at the time (i wonder if we could’ve heard their call?), but I’m optimistic for this coming season and so ready to be back in the water (once it is no longer 53-degrees, that is). I have hopes for sea lions or dolphins this year…. AND i read that they are protecting this particular site from fishing, which means increased wildlife, I hope.

5p: Mailed some postcards to church kids with coming birthdays!

6p: Took a break to watch Pushing Daisies with Tootsie.

7p: Back to work! Writing a spot (commercial) for the radio station.

8p: Oops…. distracted by Facebook… robot unicorn attack and chatting with my little sister, Claudia.

9p: Discipline prevails! Timing the written spot to make sure it is the right length to be aired.

10p: Hungry!! And it’s time to get groceries!! For the ultra-curious, I ended up making a scrumptious sandwich: veggie patty, fresh spinach, goat cheese, red-pepper hummus, toasted wheat bread. Oh, and a piece of Kelly’s amazing apple butter bread.

11p: Chilling with Kelly…. well, we were both on our computers. But it counts. We aren’t THAT anti-social..

12a: Working on the script for “Job”- a show Masquer (theater company) is doing this summer. The deeper I get into this scripture, the more there is to think about… include…. consider….. what a project! Sometime after 1a: I think I’m done for the day…….

is this what you want?

A sprint up the stairs left me a little breathless, but I still rushed through the church hallway to my office. I wasn’t late yet, but still needed to make copies, gather supplies for teaching the preschool class, and then join the worship team for pre-service prayer. However, talking to Mamaw for a few minutes was totally worth the delay in arrival to WorkChurch.

Had it really been only twenty-four hours since receiving the news that Mamaw was back in the hospital? Sitting across the booth at Denny’s in pajamas, I calmly explained to my friends, Amanda and Leah, the reason behind my family’s frequent texting. My grandmother has had quite a few health issues in recent years. It’s difficult to see someone we love be sick, yet it’s also a sad reality of aging. I prayed she would be healed and completely trusted that God had it under control.

My phone rang at ten o’clock last night from the kitchen counter. As I walked the few steps from my room down the hall, I intuitively knew it was my parents. And with a three-hours-ahead time difference in Ohio, a phone call at 1am cannot mean anything good. Sure enough, they reported that Mamaw had stopped breathing temporarily. She was doing ok for the moment, but they were on their way to join my aunt at the hospital. It didn’t look good.

Cue the cousin network. Within minutes, through the wonder of Verizon wireless and our borrowed internet connection, I was in touch with both of my sisters and my cousins, Sarah and Bethany. Years of family dysfunction have taught us that our own lines of communication are priceless. Waiting for updated news is hard enough, but throw in a 3,000 mile distance barrier, it’s maddening. There was absolutely nothing I could do for my family. Despite financial reality, I found myself researching plane ticket rates. I contemplated how fast I could be in Ohio, and the choice between saying good-bye in person, or attending a funeral. Past experience and God’s gracious gift rational thought reminded me to process this, prepare myself, and consider all options- including the option that Mamaw could totally pull through this.

You see, my paternal grandmother is a woman from the Appalachian hills of Kentucky. Maybe you’ve never met a true mountain hillbilly. They’re feisty. They’re strong, tough, fighters. They know how to handle the difficult circumstances of life. Picture Granny Clampett from “The Beverly Hillbillies”, and you’ve got a pretty close idea of Mamaw (I’ve never seen her handle a gun, but i suspect that, under the right circumstances- and before she started getting sick- that she would’ve been just fine).

The updates continued this morning. Miraculously, Mamaw is doing pretty good (considering the severity of her health circumstances). She’s still being treated for pneumonia and a handful of other things, but she’s awake and, importantly, breathing. She’s acting like her usual self. When I spoke to her for a few minutes this morning, she laughingly informed me that she was a “lady of leisure”, lying around all day while people waited on her. Way to turn a near-death experience into a hotel stay, Mamaw.

Another crisis averted- for the moment.

Back to the dash through the church hallway, I pushed aside the still-processing thoughts of family issues and what-ifs, the strategies and game plans in case of varying degrees of emergency. I reminded myself that this is happening on the heels of a crazy week sandwiched between Christmas and the New Year- a week that has been full of challenges and mixed emotion. I needed to replace these with smiles and joy, and bring out the genuine love for the kids in our congregation. Inside the sanctuary, the worship team was going over the morning’s music. This particular song was one I hadn’t heard in awhile, straying from the typical praise chorus.

The pathway is broken, and the signs are unclear
And I don’t know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I will walk through the valley if You want me to

It may not be the way I would’ve chosen
As You lead me through a world that’s not my own
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I’d never go alone

So when the whole world turns against me, and I’m all by myself
And I can’t hear You answer my cries for help
I’ll remember the trials Your love put You through
And I will go through the fire if You want me to

Yes, Lord, I hear You.

In an attempt to avoid religious superstition, I want to be sure of a situation before I declare that Satan is attacking. Sometimes, I think we give him too much credit whenever life gets a little less comfortable. But reality is that our theater company is now creating a show based on the book of Job. The combination of God’s hands-on object lessons and the devil’s tendency to try to prevent holy things from happening is going to be a factor in our current life events. As I sit at my computer and flesh out the story of humanity understanding suffering and the “big picture”, it’s probably not a coincidence that I’m battling one of the most intense depressive cycles since I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. How else to put myself in the shoes of a grieving father than face the possibility of loss in my own family? Am I gaining insight to the words “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I shall return there” when my finances take a nosedive into the abyss of car repair bills?

And won’t I still bless the name of the Lord, whether in sickness or health? Still claim that “though He slay me, still will I trust Him”? When it comes down to it, I step past my frustrations into the big perspective- “I still know that my Redeemer lives, and He shall stand at last on the earth.” I speak the truth of these ancient scriptures (and, admittedly, take a teeny bit of comfort when reminded that my trials are not nearly as bad as homeboy Job over here).

Another song sums it up nicely-
The questions just amazes me
That circumstances possibly
could change who I forever am in You…..

Jesus, bring the rain.

 

(For those of you keeping track, or if you’re looking for some good musical inspiration, “If You Want Me To” is by Ginny Owens, and “Bring the Rain” is by MercyMe.)

over it

I used to be sad at bedtime on December 25th. I would prolong it as much as possible, and try not to fall asleep. Because once I closed my eyes, Christmas would be over.

It’s 12:45am. By all technicalities, Christmas is finished. And from an outsiders view, I should be glad. The day didn’t exactly go as planned. I spent a good deal of the biggest holiday of the year alone. But it isn’t all that simple.

Sure, I thought about home-cooked turkey and mashed potatoes as I warmed up my frozen lasagna. But it was veggie lasagna from Trader Joe’s- something I haven’t tried before. It was tasty! And last night, we had tamales and rice and beans. And this morning, I enjoyed a delicious pancake breakfast with some of Sophia’s family. So I wasn’t lacking in the food area.

All the places I tried to volunteer were already full. That’s a pretty good problem to have. My goal is to volunteer during the regular year in 2011. And it turned out that I was wiped out from not sleeping last night, so using the afternoon to take a nap was the loveliest gift-to-self…..

Thanks to Verizon, I chatted with various members of my family. And last night, Sophia’s family included me in their Christmas celebration- just like every other year since I moved to California. There was a morning service at WorkChurch, but it didn’t involve any kid activities (tomorrow is another story, haha). I began the day worshipping the Savior who loves us…. so much as to be born in a barn for the ultimate purpose of a cruel death in exchange for our freedom. We miss that when we blaze through the familiar plot points of the nativity story. And taking the long way home meant driving down the coast as the sun sparkled on ocean water.

So yes, it was a quiet day. Yes, I spent a lot of the evening working to prepare for WorkChurch tomorrow. But I also enjoyed a quiet night with Kelly, tasted her mom’s delicious mashed potatoes, and ate a couple of Christmas cookies. And in case you were wondering, we closed the Daily Christmas Film Festival with “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation”.

As I close my eyes on December 25th, my heart is full of a variety of complex feelings. But incredibly, at this moment, sadness is not included. Besides, now we can look forward to New Year’s Eve…. and if the excitement of 2010 is any indication, 2011 is going to be quite an adventure.

so THIS is Christmas

Wrapping gifts, attempting to bake, decorating the house…. the preparations lead to one single day. As a child, I would marvel at how quickly Christmas day was over and how long it took to return. This year, I am still trying to figure out my plans. After church in the morning, I will likely come home to nap. Christmas Eve with Sophia’s family runs very late, and I’ll be up early to drive to church. So definitely some sleeping will happen. After that…. I’m still looking for a volunteer opportunity. I would love to serve the less fortunate, but most of those needs seem to be filled already. I will likely help another friend with their evening church service. It will be a good day, of this I am certain.

But the point is that, at first, I thought there was a lot of build-up to what is going to be a very low-key day. But that’s silly. It’s not build up, it IS Christmas. The wrapping and the baking, the thinking of others and spending time with friends, the songs and smells…. it’s a month-long holiday, not just a day.

And what would my holidays be without challenges? Despite begging and pleading on my part, my car refused to wait until January to break down. It’s tempting to stress over the hundreds of dollars in repairs (who am I kidding. I’m stressing), but I’m choosing to focus on the kindness of the auto shop and our flexible payment arrangement. I hate waiting to send Christmas gifts to my family, but somehow I’ll make it work and trust God’s timing.

And now to return to a typical busy Saturday… with holiday flair. This morning was spent at workchurch rehearsing the kids’ Christmas program. Maaaaybe ten kids showed up. It’s still doable, but tomorrow morning’s performance will be a little bit of a zoo as we try to costume these children! After all is said and done, the Masquer Christmas party will be my reward. :)

The rest of my today is earmarked to finish the making and wrapping of gifts, clean the kitchen (it appears a tornado of baking hit), and complete my weekly workchurch tasks, such as writing the family devotional. I’ll probably throw in a mug of hot cider for fun. It seems fitting on a chilly, rainy day. Though worries may linger, this month-long holiday is a celebration to savor.

hope peace joy love

Where have I been? If you’ve missed these random updates, check out my theater blog to fill in the blanks. We’re only eight days into December, but I’ve plunged head-first into the pool of Christmas spirit!

Kelly and I decided to watch a Christmas movie each day until the 25th. Of course, the show made this a little tricky, but we doubled up on some days to make it work. So far, we’ve enjoyed Love Actually, Elf, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, The Nativity Story, Home Alone, Home Alone 2, The He-Man and She-Ra Christmas Special, The Polar Express, a Christmas episode of The Office and Will & Grace, & a couple from South Park, and the Jeff Dunham Christmas special. I think a there’s a few more, and of course there is a large pending stack next to the television.

Meanwhile, my friend, Lara, and I began crafting the day after Thanksgiving. Also, my gift shopping is about 93% complete. The house smells like cinnamon, and we will obtain the tree this weekend. We’re only eight days into December, but I think we’re right on track. :)

I don’t feel like I’m giving enough this year, though. Now that my occupation is in a church, my volunteer time has slipped. Perhaps that will be my 2011 New Year’s goal… I no longer have the financial freedom to give monetarily, but that is not an excuse to be selfish with my time and energy. But I have been with my friend-family, and will have plenty of quality time with the precious California people in my life. I’m thinking of others near and dear to my heart with the gift-giving. The important things of the season are not completely lost in the busy.

This year brings another first. Our church holds a service on Christmas morning. I’m actually really excited to honor the birth of our Lord by worshipping Him. However, I am trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my day. I will not be flying back to Ohi-tucky this year, and will spend Christmas Eve with Sophia’s family. Everyone will be with their own families on Christmas day. Perhaps I will find a volunteer opportunity during the day. If anything, I can spend some one-one-one time with the Birthday Boy on the beach. I’m not worried, I know the right thing will work out.

It’s after midnight. My mind is jumbled with half-formed thoughts about the holidays, pending gifts, trying to make sure what i can give are enough (you all deserve so many good things!), thinking about spots I’m working on for the radio station and projects for workchurch, what i need to study for finals, and going over tomorrow’s schedule of laundry, errands, a haircut, and more. So instead of continuing this stream-of-consciousness fiesta, i’m going turn on my bed-warming heating pad and siesta. :)

raining starfire- my facebook note

I can be one of those annoying people who talks endlessly about what's on their mind. Of course, I can also be one of those people who successfully hides anything they don't want others to know. Perhaps that's yet another bipolar tendency- two conflicting traits existing strongly in the same person.

I write this note in order to share. They say, after all, openness fights the stigma, right? In the midst of a particularly harsh depressive cycle (episode? period? I don't even know the correct official clinical term), so many tough questions have risen to the surface. I search for some kind of helpful nugget in an attempt to take a little responsibility for my craziness. The seeds of information found in books or online grow into concepts that swirl in my head as they process. I attempt to balance the annoying chatter by writing. I know I can put my friends through a lot with this tornado called bipolar disorder. At least by writing, you can choose to read.

Yes, a tornado. No wonder I love storms so much. How rare and spectacular when the outside world matches my insides? If I could paint a picture of my bipolarness, it would be raining starfire. Sad, destructive, and yet beautiful.

Can you believe I just said that? Beautiful? In the six years since the official diagnosis, I have attributed many adjectives to this mental disorder (or mental illness, an even uglier term). "Beautiful" has NEVER been used. Clinging to a single scripture was the only honest good point in the long lists of negative challenges.

"But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Then I discovered THIS. Sitting on our couch with my laptop and Tootsie warming my feet, I could only cry after reading it. Though I can't yet articulate words behind those tears, I want to share the list with you:

THE GIFTS OF BIPOLAR DISORDER:

1. Above average compassion.
2. Acute intuition.
3. Empathetic and non-judgemental.
4. An ability to see the "big picture".
5. Spontaneous attitude towards life.
6. An ability to experience the emotions of happiness and unconditional love on a much purer and deeper level than a "normal" person.
7. Persons with bipolar disorder tend to be either creative, artistic, musical or scientific geniuses.
8. Spiritual leadership qualities.
9. Compassionate.
10. Well, we're not boring!!! Like a box of unmarked chocolates, sometimes you bite into us, you get that icky maple crap, then there is that orange creamy stuff which is okay...sometimes you get that chewy toffee caramel that sticks around, but one thing is for sure...eventually, you will get one that's got NUTS! Crunchy and yummy nuts!

(credit where it's due: full article at http://depressiontribe.tribe.net/thread/4bf661ac-4e84-468e-a17f-989c0721f0e9)

I have seen myself in so many descriptions of bipolar disorder, though they are all undesirable symptoms. But I can find myself in parts of this list, a list of good side effects (?). Ironically, it's still a lot to process.

Thousands of dazzling meteors falling out of the sky, sizzling as they land. A night sky weeping and destroying with a blazing twinkle. Endless tears, horrible decisions, energetic mania. My own bipolar. Raining starfire.

eh eh… nothing else i can say

It’s not even nine o’clock yet. It seems much later, since the sun sets so early these days. It seems much earlier, since I’m caffeinated from an afternoon peppermint mocha. The two balance out, and it actually feels exactly as it is: not even nine o’clock.

My chosen evening activity is not-attending-the-midnight-showing-of-Harry-Potter. i have nothing against the series nor any interest. There’s plenty of work to be done, since most of my time today was devoted to writing spots for the radio station and some homework. But since it’s nearing nine o’clock, it’s late enough to lose interest in the productive yet still have energy to still do something. But there’s only so many things to do alone (particularly with the nagging unfinished tasks that still clamor for attention).

Despite the rush to Christmas, today was a lovely pre-Thanksgiving afternoon. Always eager to take advantage of a good deal, Kelly and I walked around the corner to Starbucks for buy one/get one free holiday drinks. Though Starbucks is usually most guilty for premature Christmas, I was pacified by the emphasis on “holiday” drinks and noticeably absent carols. A peppermint mocha can be Thanksgiving-y, too.  There were no decorations beyond the menu board and autumnal window decals- a definite win over yesterday’s Big Lots excursion underscored by Frosty the Snowman and some song about about Santa going to a party (complete with obnoxious ho-ho-ho’s) at a volume too high to ignore.

The crisp, cool air and wonderfully warm spice-scented candle melt thing Kelly brought home wrapped the mood in a nice metaphorical harvest-colored bow. Even the smooth blue of the water and lovely old-building scent of the post office were savory details. This current depressive cycle has brought my disorder to the front burner, causing difficult questions and emotions to re-emerge. Cherishing the present is a highly underrated coping skill, and if the smell of basil and cilantro in the garden patch (or the brilliant emerging red of our budding strawberries!) can soothe anxiety, then it’s better than any medication. Besides, someone has to stand up for the lovely details of Thanksgiving; the oft-neglected holiday has become an “unfortunate” speed bump on the expressway to Christmas.

making it work

If you drive from our doorstep, down the main street of our town, you can only go two miles before it ends. If you turn right, you will be treated to a beautiful drive on a cliff overlooking the ocean. On a clear day, you’ll be able to see Catalina island pretty well. But if you go straight, you’ll end at a little park hosting a lighthouse and a small outdoor stage (as well as the obligatory picnic tables and playground).

i had to get out of the house yesterday. Working from home has many perks, but it also leads to a touch of cabin fever. So I threw my notebooks into a bag, strapped a leash on Tootsie, and took that two mile drive to the park.

We were rewarded with a beautiful November afternoon. Shorter autumn days are lit by warm golden sunlight. A few leaves crunch underfoot, but most stay green and dutifully attached to their tree branches. The park isn’t large, so we circled it a couple times so Tootsie could get her energy (and other things) out before we settled down to work. I chose a tree- I need to still learn its name- who’s roots crawled around the base before diving deep to anchor it in the ground. Comfortably cradled and shaded by a canopy of sun-filtering leaves, i looked across the glittering blue to sailboats and barges. My new natural office wasn’t too far from the cliff edge (don’t worry, a solid concrete wall prevents any accidental wandering), so the steady roll of seawater against the rocks below quickly dissuaded me from drowning out such calm wonder with my ipod.

There I worked as seagulls glided overhead, using little energy against the sea breeze (they’re really not as annoying when they’re flying by, as opposed to crapping on my car or scavenging my beach snacks). This is why I left my cubicle, and never want to return.

deconstructing the madness

Some days, I feel like a decent version of normal. Other times, I am only slightly eccentric enough to be interesting. And occasionally, it feels like there’s a giant “mental disorder” sign brightly lit over my head.

In the years since the official bipolar diagnosis, I have learned to channel the crazy energy in increasingly healthier ways. Thankfully, I have also learned to prevent emotions from escalating into uncontrollable and socially unacceptable levels. Usually.

The analytical part of me wants to take each piece of craziness apart, examine it, and reassemble myself in a more manageable way. Anxiety levels are creeping up now, thanks in part to a lot of life busyness while being in a depressive cycle.

My mind works differently. The racing chaos of mania dissolves into a twisted spaghetti-like mass of thoughts like:

Feeling alone, even when surrounded by a bunch of great people.

i hate being vulnerable.

“But to cry in front of you, that’s the worst thing I could do.”

Scenes play out as they did this afternoon. My computer sat on the kitchen counter, and I stood in front of it, trying to decide my next move. Work on homework? Work on church? Get dressed first? Choosing one thing means neglecting all the others. And forget focusing on that one thing while thinking about those others. It doesn’t help that the flurry of the weekend’s activities has left our house in disarray. I can’t think straight with all the clutter. Must. Clean. Now.

And that’s how I found myself passionately scrubbing the stovetop. Part of me acknowledged that this coping method beats the crap out of previous bad habits. Another part wonders if crazy motivation cancels out the normalcy of the task. A tiny part says to screw it and just return to those previous bad habits. The ones that temporarily soothe and calm, all the while actually making life more complicated.

But I finish the stove. Next, I’ll move on to the counter. Then the floors, then the bathroom, then my bedroom. When the house feels clean, I will channel the energy into work somehow. Before I know it, I will be tired and it will be bedtime. Another day completed, survived.

Back in the therapy days, we identified that I take on a lot when I’m manic, but become overwhelmed when faced with the ambitious workload later. This month, I’ll be practicing NOvember again. I’ll keep current commitments, but will not be making any new ones.Though this means not going on fun outings or accepting new projects, it allows me to dig out from under this heavy pile of class work, church tasks, and miscellaneous life-in-general. It’s a rest before the insanity (and joy) of December’s Christmas season. No matter what, Christmas is always good.

That’s the joy of bipolarity. What comes down must go up.